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It Was a Trip I Dont Ever Want to Come Back to

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June 24th ; 9 am : Start packing. 24 hours to the main event. Clothes, check. Shampoo and stuffs, check. Dont need make up this time. Nor heels.

June 24th ; 7 pm : I’ve been here before last week. But this time, I can walk as I enter the empty room.

June 10th ; 2 am : Fuck! What did I eat? Shit.. I think I just drank coffee. Was it espresso in that cappuccino? I should just order ice tea. Damn it!

Keep in mind, Eka.. “Espresso is a small demitasse cup of strong coffee produced on a machine designed just for that purpose. And Cappuccino actually starts out with one espresso brewed in a larger cup, then milk, which is steamed into a thick froth, is poured on top of the espresso. Chocolate is sprinkled on top to give it a finishing touch. So yes.. there was espresso inside that glass of so called frozen cappucino!!” -sighed

June 10th ; 5 am : I’ve been in this situation before. Puke right outside that clinic. Am so embarrassed. I’ve swore I’d never experience this ever again. Yet am here. Like I did couple of years back.

June 10th ; 7 am : The pain killer shot didnt help. I still vomiting like crazy. I cant even swallow a drop of water without throwing it out all over again.

June 10th ; 8 am : I still have my conscience. Yet I couldnt drag my feet to the car. My sisters on my left and right tried to carry me in to the back seat.

June 10th ; 8.15 am : “Tell me if it feels hurt”.. I was so hysterically in pain, that I told the doctor, I felt painful in every surface of my tummy. They gave me another shot. It supposed to ease the pain. It didnt. I was vomiting again and I start crying.

June 10th ; 9.30 am : “You might have stones in your kidney. We gonna do the ultrasound later, okay?”

June 10th ; 10 am : They take me out of the Emergency Room and put me to bed. I recalled another pain killer before I reached my new 4 beds- room. Still not working.

June 10th ; sometime in the afternoon : After another shot of pain killer, I can finally asleep. They did an ultrasound and found something that might be the actual cause of the kidney stone. I reminded the doctor that I was there most likely because I have chronic gastritis. But hey.. Am not the doctor here. Just dont give me a sign that I have other illness that you still cant be sure about, by sending me to an Obsgyn.. -sighed

June 10th ; dinner time : My first dinner after about 24 hours of — digestion disaster. This time, it didnt came out from where it came in. Eww..

June 11th ; 10.00 am : They told me to hold my pee, before I see this nice doctor who do another ultrasound just to let me know that we need to do a surgery.

I was diagnosed for having myoma in the wall of my uterus. She said, its more than 9 cm in diameter, so surgery is the only way. That myoma may also caused the potential stones in my kidney, which is the least I should worry about, right now. This benign that grows inside me needs to be removed immediately. Luckily, I dont have to have a hysterectomy, where all parts of my uterus should be removed. I only need to do laparoscopic myomectomy, and that one day I can still have babies, because I get to keep the baby room inside of me. I was amazingly calm. I always felt that somethings wrong inside of me, I just dont know what that is. Now I know. “Can I stay awake during the surgery?” The doctor smiled, and said, “Yes, you can even pick a song!”

June 25th ; 9.00 am : I was actually thinking of bringing my camera. But I gave it to my mother eventually. I’ve been in and out of the operating room for shooting cataract surgery in Papua, thus the needles and all the masks dont really look scary to me. Also, I’ve actually been dying to be in the operating room handled by an Obsgyn. But certainly not like this.

June 25th ; 9.30 am : 30 minutes passed the operation schedule. They started to take me in. I waved my mom goodbye. Still thinking, should I bring a camera? Maybe my G-9?

My irony with maternity room is that I’ve been in and out of maternity wards for years to shoot mothers and babies, mothers in labors, baby born, and all the emotion. Now am in a maternity room, yet without a baby to begin with. And while I’ve been begging to shoot a c-section couple of times times, and without any approvals, I get to do a sort of c-section on me!! Again.. without a baby inside me to begin with. I mean, how sad is that?

I got out of the hospital, on Thursday, June 28th afternoon. It was quite a trip. And now am in recovery state. Took a while to actually sit down and walk. But those nice nurses think my recovery is quite fast. Sure.. I dont need to carry any baby or think about how to breastfeed as I endure this pain. I am very very lucky. I cant imagine the pain, an actual mother should gone through after a c-section and still have to take care of a baby or more. I dont have anything to whine about. Am in a better condition than them.

But still.. I hope this trip that filled with irony, wont be something I’d experience again in the future. Now I know what a surgery like. Hey, I even have a scar for a memento! Maybe I should make a tattoo on that scar.. (and leave with another infection, Ms. Smartypants..)

During 2,5 hours of surgery, they found two myomas, which none was actually 9 cm in diameter. Guess you cant always trust that shadow imagery in ultrasounds. The other myoma was very small, but am glad they found that little monster and take it out. Another surprise was, they also need to remove my appendix. Man.. Talking about damage here.. Am actually had been doing some serious ones in my body!!

Anyhow.. am so lucky. I hope I wont ever go back to this kinds of trip ever again. Where am in my lowest point as human. Disgusting, helpless and troublesome. Am lucky that my family are right there where I need them most. And my dear friends came to make sure that I can actually be helpless and vulnerable for once. Seriously.. Thank you..

My loving frequent visitors. Couldnt ask for a better companion.

PS : Penyebab utama dari mioma uteri masih belum bisa diketahui. Dan saya bukan dokter. Tapi jika ada teman yang perlu sharing tentang penyakit ini, bisa menghubungi saya. Salah satu RS yang bisa dikatakan paling murah untuk operasi jenis ini adalah RS Medika Permata Hijau, dan saya ditangani oleh Dr. Yasmina dan teamnya yang baik hati dan tidak sombong. 🙂 Tapi jangan berharap perlakuan hotel bintang 3, apalagi bintang 5 ya, kalau mau operasi yang murmer. hehe.. Yang penting kondisi tubuh harus fit sebelum operasi, karena amit-amit kalau anda sedang flu atau batuk. Post-op nya itu loooh.. ngebet banget di bekas jahitannya kalau anda sampai bersin atau batuk.


Written by nickmatulhuda

July 3, 2012 at 1:54 pm

Posted in about her

2 Responses

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  1. Cepat sembuh!


    July 24, 2012 at 8:52 pm

    • 🙂 thanks! sudah sembuh kok. kan aku anak sehat.. hehe.. now am in recovery, will be up and running in no time!


      July 25, 2012 at 9:34 am

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